Thought it was about time I did another update about my life up in the Pyrenees mountains in Spain. Sorry to say guys but even challenges can find you in the mountains! It’s quite funny what finds you while you think you are tucked away in a remote village. Internal things still come up, situations come and find you and material external things still come and cause a major fuss for you. It’s not always an easy life to live and not for everyone.
I have to say though being here for the last 11 months has been one of the most transitional times for me and, doing the work of Oracle Girl (www.oraclegirl.org), the purifications have gone deeper and more intense. My sensitivity has gone up. Feeling my senses to be finer. It can feel like nothing is hidden as everything is on the surface. Whether that’s for me or for other people or even having to deal with external systems (Spanish systems really have their faults that are somewhat different to England). Time also seems to disappear on itself more than it ever used to. Time and energy is feeling more precious than ever and I feel it must be directed with what is in alignment and do my best not to get taken off course by external influences. Though, it does seem like nature has its own timing as unexpected things may come up. Yet somehow lately I am managing to get my short legs to keep up better with that fast treadmill of time!
Being in the mountains feels like having the rawness of the Earth exposed to me… and along with that it’s like my own rawness is shown to me too. The mountains hold a lot of power, are very humbling and require some kind of solid connection in myself. It can seem like when there is more purity present it can dredge up the shadows too as they come out of their hiding place with nowhere to run. Sometimes a hike amongst the mountains can start to move layers about.
This last year has been quite a theme of letting go of identities, stories and any masks that I may have been holding. They have been stripping back a lot so I can live more authentically me and to live life in less falsity. Touching on something that feels more like real nature within me. I have been embracing the feminine in me more too as I had for quite a while been living a life in a very masculine mindset with a strong mental body. ‘Images’ definitely become a theme here as I become more acutely aware just what that entails. From my experience I can live with an image of myself or something external and find it can easily morph into something else. Like it’s just a passing story or an illusion was shattered. It tests my ability to not get so identified with what arises, and let it wash over, not attaching to anything. Having to meet each moment as it comes with spontaneity and rawness. It may require some vigilance too so I can act less from stories and patterns and not get taken by the convincing murmurs of the mind. Sure, I may have to go through the motions of what arises in me and feel it all, but I know it’s a passing thing, so it doesn’t stick. As my own inner instructions get stronger, there are times I can really feel the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ signals more clearly in me than I used to. I have more letting go moments where I just simply don’t know and I hand it back to the silence of love. It feels like there is that anchor within me… an unmovable presence as I move through life.
Life indeed can feel very abstract and keeps me on my toes. Here I can only touch the surface of these deep waters. I may not always know what the right action or next step is but I find that the universe or nature is often speaking through me, which can catch me by surprise. ‘Shoulds’ often have to be let go of in order to answer to something that feels more real within me, even if my mind might argue with it at times. It may not always be rose petals and sunshine but can be rough like a rock, but I find both sides are of the same source. It can really encourage me to answer to all aspects of myself, to stop playing out old behaviours and patterns, to face my own shit as I find the most growth happens from there. With the resistances and barriers within myself crumbling more I can start to feel more love and joy fill up the new open spaces in my being. It’s an exciting life actually for this mountain hermit!
So that was a little dive into the streams of the internal levels. What’s been happening on the external of this remote mountain village life? Well… there has been a lot of mould cleaning of the house. It turns out this house doesn’t do well with dampness and wasn’t quite set up to deal with it. There has been a discombobulation going on as a certain room had to be fully closed off until I had the means to tackle the mould properly.
I had also been busy working on my partners new website (www.owenhanner.com) and totally redid my own website too (www.katealexandrapriestley.com). I finally decided to combine my art and design into one website as felt I was almost playing two identities showing a different face of myself on them both. To bring my sensitive artistic side and my practical technical side into one. Now I feel I should just show up as who I am. Website and graphic design for others continues too and enjoying the connections I make with those I work with.
Painting has its important place in my life. Admittedly as I went through a major shake up of identities and masks that took my creativity along with it, as even that can get hooked up with identities. So I have been having to explore that from a new different place now and be open and curious to what wants to come through me. It came with wobbles of wondering if I’m even an artist anymore to suddenly finding a flow. I look forward to seeing what unfolds me as I feel a new energy wanting to be expressed out of me. I also find inspiration in my picturesque surroundings and enjoy playing with photography around here.
We can have friends pass through here bringing rich bubbles of connection. Also there was a fiesta in the village recently where we were drumming, dancing and singing together, which my musician partner often led. That brought such elation in my being and felt like it touched on a primal earthy part of me too.
Spanish lessons are ongoing which can be challenge as I have a partial hearing loss but poco a poco I can pick out more words in conversations. The language still sounds quite alien to me… and trying to pronounce sounds my mouth is not used to pronouncing. It’s like trying to totally rewire my brain to understand and speak another language. I find it all fascinating though and quite fun to learn… opening me up to the world of language.
The village my partner and I live in continues to give to us in lovely ways. We can be blessed with good neighbours who seem to want to help us out without us even having to do or ask for anything. We can go into the city (which we very rarely do) and even bump into people we know and get gifted things. It all happens so naturally and spontaneously. Although we can live a bit like hermits when we do go out we feel rewarded in many ways. And nature here is also very rewarding and rejuvenating. Even going into the city (which requires hitchhiking due to our lack of transport and the distance) we are gifted with mountain views all around us. I just love absorbing their purity that never ceases to amaze me. Although these days… because I am even further away from the cities, when I do enter one I can more strongly feel the denser energies that can pervade them, especially as it’s such a contrast to the mountain village.
There is the layer that this village is literally on some kind of battleground from the Spanish Civil War, the dead bodies left for 20 years after that, then turned into some military training ground before the village ruins got reoccupied again and built back up. This can come with its patches of weird energies around here that may affect people in conscious or subconscious ways. It can feel like taking more ownership of one’s own field is required here, being more self-aware, grounded and working out what you can and can’t handle when you go to certain parts. Me and my partner can be presented with dreams or visions of where we can go, and pleasantly surprise ourselves when we discover something new around here that’s in line with something we’ve seen in a dream or vision. Currently we still have to avoid the main battleground as that personally came with too much process and letting in of denser energies. We could feel it was badly disturbed while we were in it. And sure enough later there were sinister dreams and visions warning us not to go back there. It can always change as maybe our fields can get stronger but right now it seems our instructions are saying it’s not the place to go for us right now. There has been a lot of interesting dream and vision experiences being in this village… sometimes revealing information about the land. Overall, the many parts we visit around here are so full of beauty and deep mountain energies- minus that we are living in a ginormous pine tree plantation so the trees are set in rows but still, it is very beautiful. A rejuvenation and reconnection can be felt after a walk around here. We can enjoy a great refreshment if we went to the stream and rinse our faces in it. Or if went somewhere around here with magnificent mountain views which are very often surrounded with intense blue skies. I so love as well being able to see the many stars at night as there is a lot less light pollution.
There is a nice easygoingness in this village too. It is very good we have our own spaces and we can dip in and out of the community whenever we feel to. If some people are more sociable, they can join in with the social activities of this village. If some are quieter then they can easily have their own space. It’s a win for us all. I like that there’s no pressure and when it feels right to, and time and energy allows us, we can socialise with the villagers. Often, it’s spontaneous anyway which can be the best way as we may just bump into a villager on one of our walks or while hitchhiking.
Also, it’s nice to feel the slower pace of life here for us as we are not surrounded by the busyness of ‘normal’ life most people live. One of the things we have to get used to here is the spontaneity of the locals as they work less by strict times and are pretty flexible… you don’t always know if you’ll get your veg! The downside is that they have a habit of not sticking to plans or times or doing what they’ll say they do- including for professional services. But then I have a tendency to get rigid so I know I need to invite a little more spontaneity in!
I have been experimenting with more affordable and natural options for hair, teeth, deodorant, washing up liquid, cleaning products and detergent. Training my hair to not get so oily quickly which is working. As well since coming here I have started embracing myself as a more natural woman… letting go of that famous shame when it comes to our body hair that society has led us to feel. Not missing that epilator of mine that I left back in England!
Also being here is so much cheaper compared to England. The veg my neighbours sell is low cost, even sometimes getting food for free. We were able to bulk buy our staples from an organic place which is so much more cost effective than what I used to spend in England. Me and my partner like to live very simply too and less tied up with the financial systems.
In this village there are so many animals as well. Lots of dogs and cats freely roaming outside lazing about or having their own little dramas going on. Goats wandering about the mountains that provide milk and cheese and there are majestic semi-wild horses. Also chickens, geese, deer, boar and donkeys. The donkeys are used like nature’s lawn mower here as they eat the overgrown plants.
It does seem that not many people may be able hack this kind of remote mountain village life me and my partner are in. It’s not for everybody for various reasons whether for physical or emotional needs or other. Especially with no transport, having shops, entertainment and other things at a large distance away, having to use hitchhiking to get into town, having a rubbish postal system, being in a small but cosy house, being surrounded with less people and not speaking the language (at least in my case, not my partner’s!). I do actually really like it although I realise I am lucky as I experience this alongside a supportive, loving partner (see blog post of how we came to be together in the Pyrenees). But I have often had quite a hermit side to me since I was young. Liking solitude and being in my own world. Although I know community and connection is also good for me so dipping in and out suits me and can bring me joy and even a learning from others. Having less distractions around me has been better for me finding more stillness and quietness within. Yet I still feel that large sense of fun, playfulness and life to me too. It’s whatever the moment brings.
Previous to this mountain life I had often struggled to find that quietness within myself and to stop and just relax… like my nervous system didn’t know how to switch off and constantly sought out stimulation. There can also be a western mindset in me too that is used to having certain comforts and conveniences around me. There was a lot of undoing of mental patterns I had to go through and sort of surrender to that softness and presence within and break out of my usual habits.
So that seems to be the end of the update of my mountain life so far! I hope you have enjoyed reading about what it’s like living in a remote mountain village and my somewhat unusual life! Life has given me so much to unpack lately and it felt like much was still up in the air, as there was a lot of integrating to do. Even as I write this, I notice how quickly life changes. Perceptions can change on a daily basis. I am fascinated by how our images, whether of ourselves, of others or of certain situations can blow by like a passing breeze (or a raging storm at times) and not to get so fixed on them. How on Earth do I try take a snapshot of my life which is ever changing in evolving in many ways? The journey continues with all the colours and richness that life can bring. I am grateful to be where I am now both on my internal or external levels. Being here is such a contrast to how I lived all my life in England and I’m enjoying the learning of doing things a different way. Although it feels like there could be a lot more to come that might have its learning curves. Let’s see what unfolds and what nature has in store for us!
A poem for you
Below is some creative writing by me. ‘The Climb’ is from a recent trip up to the highest point of a hill next to this village, that gifts me with lots of mountain views.
The Climb
Roads turned to clay
Sinking deeper and deeper in the mud
My feet merging
With the disintegrating surface
Of my mind
No other way to go
But to go higher
Beginning the ascent
The resistance in me groaning
Shaking the gravity of the mud
Off my boots
My body embarking
This trail
Initiating me on a trial
The path may disappear
And reappear
But I know the way.
The winter sun shines
So blindingly bright
Finding myself
Further out of my spiral
Realising that
I am carrying too many burdens
The heat squeezes me
To go on
I must strip back the layers
I sit on a rock
That holds space
For a scattered pause
My western mind
Clutching to AI
Like it has put its prongs
Into my limbs
Disappearing into a dimension
Not of this plane.
I climb higher
The eloping deers
Startling me
As I enter the wilderness
Of myself
Cabeza explotar
Time and space
Folds and unfolds
Opening and shutting
Calling my fragments
Somehow within grasp
What is this ‘you’?
I keep going
Forging my pathways
Further into myself
The smell of pine and thyme
Beckoning my earthly senses
I reach a lone tree
Revealing many other peaks
Of destinations around me
Mountain of gold already here
A stone monument
Sits at the highest point
Overseeing all the directions
The village far below
Hidden in its nest
Peeking up at me
Like a little chick
Awaiting my return.
I sit in the majesty
Of the ancient white veined beings
Jagged and smooth
An unwavering presence
Anchored in their mystery
Stern in their wise stare
Putting my prattling in its place
My eyes touching
The Earth’s worn textures
Bursts of rock
Reaching into the upperworlds
The pine trees
Rising and falling
Like hedgehogs snoozing
Breathing soundly
Over the lands curves
To beyond where the known
Meets the horizon.
Feeling the huge empty space
Stretching out infinitely
In front of me
The silence echoing
Through the deep valleys
This emptiness
Feels larger than me
My body becoming part of the vacuum
Reaching where
The sky blends into its cosmic mothers embrace
Sitting in her womb of creation
Nature holding me
Rebirthing me
Purity’s strength
Making its presence known:
What isn’t mine
Cannot live.
The mountain’s energy
Streaming through my being
Pushing through the tight cracks
In the heavy concrete of my head
Expanding me
From inside out
For me to carry
Heaven’s potency
As I descend back down
All photos and artworks by Kate Priestley – www.katealexandrapriestley.com
